


Once Upon a Midsummer Night

by Florence_in_Silver



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Nonbinary Character, References to Shakespeare, Were the World Mine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2642744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florence_in_Silver/pseuds/Florence_in_Silver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Begins at the end of season 3b and then diverges from the canon. When Emma returns to the future, she brings back not only Maid Marian but two mischievous figures set on revenge against the Blue Fairy. But what happens when people all over Storybrooke begin falling inexplicably in love? And what will Emma do with an enchanted, love-struck Regina? Inspired by the film Were the World Mine and the play A Midsummer Night's Dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tinker Bell and the Magic Ejaculating Flower

**Author's Note:**

> _And the imperial votaress passed on,_  
>  _In maiden meditation, fancy-free._  
>  _Yet marked I where the bolt of Cupid fell._  
>  _It fell upon a little western flower,_  
>  _Before milk-white, now purple with love’s wound._  
>  _And maidens call it “love-in-idleness.”_  
>  _Fetch me that flower. The herb I showed thee once._  
>  _The juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid_  
>  _Will make or man or woman madly dote_  
>  _Upon the next live creature that it sees._  
>  William Shakespeare, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” (Act II, Scene I)

Tinker Bell watched the recognition cross Robin Hood’s face as he realized that it truly was Marian standing in Granny’s Diner. It was impossible, but she was there. He didn’t question it as he moved forward to throw his arms around her, saying her name in a shocked, wavering voice, and already on the verge of tears. Little Roland stepped forward then, and even after the years that had passed, he recognized his mother. It should have been a beautiful scene, really, a family reunited and whole once more. Tink, however, could not keep her attention on the joyful trio, as her eyes were drawn to the shocked woman standing to the side like an abandoned doll. Only seconds earlier Regina had entered the diner happily with Robin, wearing her genuine smile, a rare site that was usually upstaged by her politician’s smirk or her threatening, malicious grin. For a moment, the same moment that Robin choked out his wife’s name, Regina had lost all her bravado and deflated, looking shocked and confused. It didn’t take her too long to recover, and she reacted in true Regina fashion, covering her pain in a layer of anger. She lashed out at the closest person to her and the perceived cause of her pain, the unfortunate Emma Swan.

Tink felt a little sick, watching as hurt came over Emma’s face as she weakly said, “I just wanted to save her life.” After all it had been Tink who had pushed and prodded, needled and cajoled Regina into dating Robin Hood in the first place. “It is your destiny,” she had told Regina time and time again until at last Regina, so desperate to be loved, had given in. She was more resistant to it than most, however, running away the first time Tink showed her the man in the bar with the lion tattoo, her fated true love. She and Emma had that in common, actually. They both clung to the belief that they could make their own destinies.

Blue, who had been sitting in the corner with Aurora and the Widow Lucas, was watching Robin and Marian, both still holding each other, oblivious to the rest of the diner. Blue had a fake smile that could rival Regina’s, but as she sensed Tink’s gaze on her, she met Tink’s eyes with a dark expression. The elder fairy did not like when unexpected circumstances interfered with her plans, and time travel had been unexpected, even for her. Tink could see the cogs already turning in her head, ready for a new plot, a new device, anything to take care of Regina.

“Well, you better just hope to hell you didn’t bring anything else back,” said Regina to Emma, before turning and exiting the diner. It wasn’t until much later that Robin Hood looked around for her, wanting to explain things.

Emma left soon after, followed by Hook like the sad puppy that he was, and others began to trickle out as the evening grew later. Robin and Marian, however, had taken seats in one of the booths and seemed reluctant to leave it, let alone the diner itself, as if doing so would somehow make Marian disappear again. Tink stayed, too, watching them long after Blue had swept out, but she thinking of another Robin entirely, whom she had met so long ago in the Enchanted Forest.

_Tinker Bell had never been the best at following the rules of the fairies. She was often late to things, she was reckless with fairy dust, and worst of all, she sometimes questioned the Blue Fairy’s decisions. Her small rebellions, however, could not compare to the mischief and anarchic trickery brought about a certain shrewd and knavish sprite named Robin Goodfellow, who had come to the Enchanted Forest from someplace across the seas. They were never entirely sure if Robin was male or female, a mystery that set Blue’s teeth to grinding in frustration. But because Tink found Robin Goodfellow rather attractive, and because she could never admit to liking a girl in that way, she thought of him as a boy._

_“How now, fairy? Whither wander you?” he often said, blocking her path and kissing her hand with flourish. His smile filled his cheeks and shone with such genuine mirth that Tink couldn’t help but to laugh with him and let him tag along after her, even though she knew he would make her work harder. For each flower petal she would paint with dew, he would lick the drops from another. For each person she saved from tripping and falling in the dirt, he would crash under the feet of another and send them sprawling. For each deed there was a misdeed, but always done with a smile._

_There was a gentleness to Robin, as well. Though he was very much a prankster - once convincing Tink to put itching powder in Blue’s corset - there was no true malice in him. He loved nothing more than having pranks played on him, inciting the fairies to put pink dye in his hair as he slept, and then he roared with laughter the next morning. For a long while this was the only side to him that Tink ever saw, but eventually she began to see his acts of kindness, at first only from the periphery of her vision, but soon he let her see him full on as he released a fox from a cruel, steel trap or chased fish into the net of a hungry fisherman. Once, he had left to find the antidote to an illness that was sweeping through a village, dabbing it on the tongue of each victim until they woke up feeling perfectly healthy. It was said that Robin Goodfellow could attain any item in the entire world, even the cure for a sickness that had never been seen before._

_An odd sort of feeling began to take root in Tinker Bell after that, which she could feel growing somewhere between her lungs. At first she thought it was simply a growing contentment with her life, her fellow fairies, and her new friend. Examining that, however, proved it untrue. The Blue Fairies ongoing rivalry with the Dark One, Zoso, left her stressed and more demanding of her fairies than before. Their work was more difficult, their hours longer, and their free time marred by the looming and guilt-inducing presence of Blue, and yet, somehow, Tink felt happier than ever. It wasn’t long until she realized that she was inexplicably, maddeningly, but undeniably in love, and that seed growing in her chest was in fact her heart swelling with the ecstasy of it._

Granny and Ruby kept the diner open well past its usual closing, allowing Robin and Marian ample time to talk and for the others to congratulate and celebrate with the family, but Granny, no longer a young woman, was growing tired. Ruby shooed them all out, leaving Tink to bid the remaining few goodnight as she dragged her feet back to the convent. After being restored to her full fairy status, she had chosen to rejoin her sisters, and had indeed relished in seeing Nova and the others again, but she would be damned before she started dressing like a nun. Still, she found herself wishing she had one of the warm cardigans they always wore. A chill had crept into the early spring air and brought about goosebumps on Tink’s arms and neck.

The convent was quaint and cozy-looking on the outside, cute as a gingerbread house, and with a little stone chapel next door. Flowers were planted under each window, and their sickly sweet fragrance assaulted Tink’s nose before her feet had even reached the steps to the front porch. To her relief the building was dark, as she was no longer feeling particularly chatty, and especially did not feel like seeing Blue. Though it was not yet eleven, the fairy nuns were already tucked up in their beds, as visions of manipulation danced in their heads, Tink thought. She didn’t try too hard to be quiet, letting the front door bang behind her and not even trying to tiptoe down the hallway to her room. They always woke her at the crack of four in the morning, after all. It almost made her miss Neverland.

_“You’ve become quite close to Puck, haven’t you?” asked the Blue Fairy, using Robin’s nickname._

_“Robin may be mischievous, but he means well, really.” said Tink, avoiding the question._

_“You haven’t been as efficient since he’s been around. He’s a distraction to you, Green, a hindrance, but perhaps he may have his uses.”_

_Tink’s eyebrows fell over her eyes in a frown. She didn’t like where this was going._

_“They say he can find and acquire anything,” Blue continued._

_“I suppose that’s true.”_

_“I wonder if he could locate a very rare and special flower for me. I think he would if you asked him. It’s called ‘love-in-idleness.’ Would you ask him for me?”_

_Tinker Bell sometimes talked back to Blue, but she was not foolish enough to ignore a direct request, especially as the elder fairy impressed upon Tink the importance of the flower in the fairies’ conflict with the Dark One. It could reverse so much evil that had been done by Zoso, and spread love and harmony across the land._

_Robin was reclining against a tree when Tink found him, with a fishing pole held lazily in one hand and dangling into the passing stream. His eyes were half shut and he didn’t seem particularly concerned with catching a fish. Tink flittered to his side and grew big to sit next to him against the rough bark._

_“Not planning any mischief today?” she asked him._

_“‘Tis too hot for mischief,” he replied, throwing her a slanted glance from the corner of his eye. Seeing that she wasn’t buying it, he admitted, “I was thinking about putting a nice big fish in the king’s bed. Want to help?”_

_“I was actually hoping you would help me with something.”_

_“I’m listening.”_

_“Have you ever heard of the love-in-idleness flower?”_

_“Have I heard of it? Across the vast and tumultuous oceans, they sing praises of it beauty. A more splendid and dangerous bloom, they say, does not exist in our wide world. ‘Tis a violent violet flower.”_

_“Dangerous?” said Tink._

_“In the wrong hands, but you have such lovely hands. Shall I fetch it for you?”_

_Tink, unable to get the words out, had merely nodded, beginning to dread what the Blue Fairy wanted with such an object._

_“I’ll put a girdle round the Earth in forty minutes,” said Robin, and he was gone. True to his word, not an hour had passed when he returned and, with a bow, presented Tink with the most magnificent flower she had ever seen. The depth and complexity of its purple color surely could never be rivaled and its fragrance was so lovely that she wished she could bathe herself in it every day. Nectar squirted out of it, nearly catching her in the face, but Robin pulled her back, out of the way._

_“Careful,” he said. “You don’t want to get it in your eyes. It will take me a few days to make the antidote.”_

_“What would happen I did get it in my eyes?”_

_“You would fall madly in love with the next living creature you looked on. I thought that’s why you wanted it. Are we not going to play some marvelous prank on the villagers?”_

_“I’m afraid not,” came a haughty voice through the forest. Blue, accompanied by several fairies, flew up to them and enlarged herself, though she seemed irritated that, even in her big form, Robin’s lanky body towered over her. After those short seconds of holding the flower, Blue snatched it away from Tink, and Robin, looking more defeated than Tink had ever seen him, let her take it. The merry and willful expression had been wiped clean from his face, leaving only a look of such betrayal that tore into Tink’s insides. He didn’t say another word. He had no more bows or flourishes or kisses of her hand. Robin simply left, gone in an instant like a crack of lightning._

_Like Regina, Tink had turned her pain into rage at the Blue Fairy for tricking her, lying to her. What did she want the flower for anyway? To force people to fall in love? But, as always, Blue had managed to change her mind. While the Dark One ruined lives and distributed rations of fear, they could bring back happy endings to the land. With the love-in-idleness flower, they could bring people together, salvage even the most blackened soul. Tink’s guilt weighed on her still, until she began to see the truth in Blue’s words. Under the influence of love-in-idleness, people were overcome with a powerful infatuation, but after a few days of raging passion, the effects settled onto a deep and honest love. There was nothing hollow or false about their happiness or their regard for each other that Tink could see. It was True Love. Tink became so convinced of the goodness that the flower had brought to the land, but she couldn’t help feeling conflicted about the tragedy that had befallen Robin Goodfellow not long after. She heard only the rumors, and they said that he had fallen on the wrong side of Zoso, and had been killed. Some said that Zoso had merely trapped him in a vase, but that would have been an even crueler fate than death for Robin. She had always known that Robin would get himself in serious trouble one day, but she had hoped that he would find happiness and one day forgive her. And she missed him. For the fairies, love was a distraction, but she couldn’t help herself in falling in love with him. She told herself that she could make up for it by bringing love to everyone else, but a new seed had been planted, outgrowing her love for Robin. It was a seed of doubt._

_The Dark One himself was weakened and eventually captured by the Duke of the Frontlands. Soon, Zoso was dead and they had a new Dark One to deal with, a man called Rumplestiltskin. Those with magic were particularly resistant to the flower, and it failed to stir any real feelings between him and a promising young woman called Cora. Tink, more desperate than ever to prove the power of love-in-idleness, decided to find love for the Dark One’s own pupil, the young sorceress and unhappily married Queen Regina, Cora’s own daughter. It would be a victory to restore Tink’s belief in herself, so she had ignored Blue’s warnings. But it had failed. The nectar didn’t make Regina fall in love with the carefully selected man in the tavern. Regina lost her chance at love, and Tink lost her faith in herself._

Like the other’s, Tink’s room was spartan and plain, nothing but white washed walls, a bed, a dresser, and a cross nailed to the wall. She had tried to spruce it up with some posters, but Blue had made her take them down. Still she kept them under the bed to pull out any time she needed to look at Tom Petty or The Breakfast Club movie poster. She pulled on her pajamas without turning on the light. There was so little in her room that it was easy to know where everything was. She flopped face first onto her bed, but was surprised to find that her skin connected not only with the cloth of her pillow, but with something that felt like paper. She raised up to find a little note of old parchment folded up on the pillow. She snapped her fingers, causing a small flame to jump onto the wick of a candle, and held the note out to it to read. Inside was a short message, just two lines, written in loopy and messy handwriting:

 

Tonight, our Storybrooke covered in snow

Tomorrow each heart pierced by Cupid’s bow

 

She frowned at that, turning the paper over several times to make sure there was no more. Then she laughed. It must be Nova planning some prank or other. She had been plotting revenge ever since Tink had given her a pig nose. Tink didn’t know why she had been so upset about that. Nova had looked quite cute with a pig nose, like that woman in Penelope. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Nova had run into Grumpy that day, literally ran into him and knocked her scarf askew so that it no longer covered the nose. Tink was too tired to worry about it now, though, and tossing the note aside, she lay back in the bed. She truly was becoming one of the fairy nuns, going to bed before midnight. She yawned deeply, changed into her night clothes with her eyes half shut, and crawled into bed. She’d have to worry about Nova in the morning. Though now that she thought about it didn’t really look like Nova’s handwriting…

_Arriving to Storybrooke had been a second chance for Tink. After she captured the Neverland shadow and, in doing so, saved the Blue Fairy, Blue had restored her wings and her hope. Those with magic were more resistant to love-in-idleness, but not immune to its power. Rumplestiltskin, himself, had fallen in love after several applications of the nectar on his sleeping eyelids. For the brief time that Tink could observe him and Belle before his brave sacrifice, she thought they looked truly happy. Tink began to hope again for Regina, but that hope had been crushed with the arrival of Robin’s wife. Because although Tink knew she could coat Hood’s eyelid with love for Regina, she couldn’t bring herself to do so and tear apart a family._

In the nature of dreams, which often try to solve the problems of life, often in spectacularly irrational ways, Tink dreamt of finding happiness for Regina. Although, to be honest, she didn’t think she could convince Idris Elba to come all the way to Storybrooke, Maine.

The convent was awoken by the sound of the Blue Fairy screaming. Tinker Bell nearly fell out of bed in her surprise at the strident cry. It was still dark outside, but something shiny caught Tink’s eye through the window. It was snow, at least two feet of it, glinting like the inside of a clam shell in the moonlight. Tink slowly turned her gaze to the note she had thrown to the floor. Tonight, our Storybrooke covered in snow. The commotion outside was getting too loud to ignore, however, so Tink quickly stuffed the note into the breast pocket of her pajamas and went out into the hallway and followed the clamor up the stairs.

The fairies were clustered around outside of Blue’s room on the second floor, watching with concern and confusion as Blue tore through her belongings inside.

“It has to be here! It has to be here!” Blue shrieked.

“What’s going on?” Tink asked the Violet Fairy.

“Something’s been stolen,” she whispered back.

“What is it?” asked Tink, louder this time, so Blue could hear her.

“Someone’s taken the love-in-idleness flower,” said Blue, stopping her frantic search to sit deflated on the floor of her room. Several fairies gasped or clutched their faces in horror. Violet and Orange ran into the room to help Blue look for it, but a thorough search revealed that it was not there. Tink did not outwardly react to the news, though on the inside she felt her stomach clench with fear. In the wrong hands the love-in-idleness could be used for all sorts of nefarious purposes, and, though she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she dreaded the reaction the people of Storybrooke would have if they found out about it. It was too early in the morning for her to deal with that.

“Excuse me, Blue,” said Nova, joining them. “I think there’s something else you should see.” She seemed nervous and uncomfortable, but then again, so did everyone else. Tink also noticed a few flakes of rapidly melting snow dusting her hair and shoulders. Nova led them back downstairs to the front door of the house, which she opened. A gust of wind blew in some of the snow that had collected by the doorway, but everyone’s attention was on a sign that had been nailed on to the front. More gasps of horror followed as they read the curling and luridly painted letters of the sign, which said, “Welcome to Willy Wonka’s Cock-lick Factory!”

 


	2. The Hissing Fairy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _So I, admiring of his qualities._  
>  _Things base and vile, holding no quantity,_  
>  _Love can transpose to form and dignity._  
>  _Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;_  
>  _And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind._  
>  _Nor hath Love's mind of any judgment taste;_  
>  _Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste._  
>  William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream," (Act I, Scene I)

There was not enough coffee in the world to prepare Emma to deal with a livid Blue Fairy waiting for her at the Sheriff's office, especially at eight in the morning after the exchange she’d had with Regina the night before. A sense of guilt still churned in her gut when she thought of Regina’s face as she looked at Robin with his family. It was mixed with a sense of fear, too, that Regina would regress into her old routine of hatred and revenge. She had thought about going over to Regina’s house before work to apologize, but figured she had better send Henry first as an emissary. Regina was less likely to turn him into a pile of ash, and besides, Regina needed to be around someone who loved her.  


Tinker Bell had accompanied Blue, looking the way Emma felt: puffy-eyed from lack of sleep, shivery from the cold, and like she would rather be anywhere else than beside the seething Blue Fairy. Emma didn’t think she had ever seen Blue so rattled before. She was dressed in slacks and a navy blue blouse that was buttoned incorrectly, her usual black cardigan nowhere in sight. Her hair was down for the first time and she wore no make up, though her cheeks were pink, from the anger or the cold Emma couldn’t tell. Both fairies had managed to fare better in the snow than Emma had, probably having done some spell to repel the cold and damp. Emma looked down at her own soggy jeans, wondering if Regina could teach her a spell like that, until she remembered that Regina was furious with her.  


Reluctantly, Emma unlocked the building, ignoring Blue’s barrage of information about vandalism and a robbery as she led them to her desk. Only when she was seated and had taken a long slurp of her coffee did Emma finally speak.  


“Slow down, Blue. I’ll make a report,” she said, pulling out a sheet of paper from one of the drawers. “To start, what’s been stolen?”  
“The love-in-idleness flower. It’s magical and very dangerous in the wrong hands,” said Blue quickly.  


The fairies took the chairs across from Emma, Tink with her head propped up on one hand, looking about ready to fall asleep. She was still in her pajamas with a fuzzy green robe wrapped around her.  


“Dangerous? How so?” asked Emma, thinking that if anyone from the outside world ever found her police reports they would have her instantly committed. She had never expected that one day she would have to hunt down the thief of a magical flower that had been stolen from a fairy nun. Glancing up, she thought she caught a look pass between Tink and Blue, as if they were deciding how much to let Emma in on.  


“It can cause powerful enchantments, alter behavior,” said Blue, seeming intentionally vague, but Emma didn’t want to press her, at least not yet. Instead she asked her about where the flower was kept and how a thief could sneak in to the convent in the first place.  


“No ordinary thief could have done it,” said Blue. “There is a spell on my room to keep such things from happening and it was kept in a locked box that only I have the key to.” Blue pulled out a silver chain from around her neck, showing Emma the key that dangled from it. “It would have had to have been someone with magic, powerful magic.” She paused for a moment, before saying, “Perhaps someone who recently had her heart broken and wants revenge.”  


Emma looked up from her report, and Tink sat up a little straighter, looking ready to object. Emma beat her to it, however.  


“Regina? No, I don’t think she would have done this,” said Emma, but seeing Blue’s face turn an even deeper shade of beet red, she added, “But I’ll speak to her about it. Just in case. You said something about vandalism, too.” Emma tried to change the subject quickly from Regina.  


“Yes,” and the Blue Fairy took a folded poster from her clutch and passed it over to Emma, who flattened it out on her desk.  


“Welcome to Willy Wonka’s...what the?” she read aloud. “Well, that’s rude,” she offered. The note convinced her even more deeply that Regina had not been involved in the crime. She could be malicious and vindictive, but Emma’s experience she would never do something so uncouth.  


“It’s filthy!” exclaimed Blue. “Crass, deviant, absolutely disgusting!” Her volume rose with each word, causing Tink to flinch and sit up again.  


“The thief left a note on my bed, as well,” Tink said. She took a smaller piece of paper from her pocket and gave it to Emma.  


“Well, they were right about the snow,” said Emma, after reading the couplet. “But it sounds like they’ve got more planned. ‘Each heart pierced by Cupid’s bow.’” Emma was talking more to herself than anyone, but turned to Tink and asked, “Do you have any idea who left this?”  


“Regina and Rumplestiltskin are the only ones with magic powerful enough,” said the Blue Fairy. “Well, apart from-” she hesitated.  


“Me,” Emma finished for her.  


“Obviously, I don’t suspect you, Sheriff, or I would not have come to you.” Blue started on a rant on the importance of catching the culprit with all haste, and Emma’s eyes wandered to the clock on the far wall. It was now fifteen past eight, which meant that Mulan was fifteen minutes late for work. Ever since Emma had hired her as her deputy, Mulan had been nothing but punctual and dedicated to her work, if a bit overly serious at times. Emma’s jokes were often met with stoicism, but granted, Mulan may not have gotten all the cultural references. It was odd for her to be late. Emma was snapped from her tangent daydream, however, as Blue stood up, still a bit shaky with rage.  


“I trust this will all be over soon,” she snapped, and then swept from the room, beckoning for Tink to follow her. Tink glanced back once at Emma looking...guilty? Emma couldn’t tell, but she knew Tink definitely had more to say. Before she could give too much thought to it, the phone on her desk rang.  


“Sheriff Swan’s office,” she said.  


“Emma, it’s Mrs. Lucas,” said Granny, sounding worried. “Can you come to the diner? I-I think there’s something wrong with Ruby.”  


“It’s not the full moon,” Emma said, trying to get Granny to give her more information.  


“No, it isn’t wolf related. It’s just - could you please come?”  


“Sure, I’ll be right there,” said Emma. She hoped Ruby hadn’t broken some law or invited some loser home who refused to leave in the morning. Emma remembered the time that had happened to her. She’d had to chase him out of her apartment with a frying. But Ruby was much more sensible since Emma had broken the first curse and she had remembered the Red side of herself. Still, everyone makes mistakes, Emma supposed.  


Not looking forward to the prospect of trudging downtown through the two feet of snow, Emma thought about poofing herself to the diner. Unfortunately, so far she had only mastered transporting small objects across rooms. She couldn’t help but think of the witches and wizard from the Harry Potter books who left bits of themselves behind when they apparated, and didn’t relish the thought of arriving at Granny’s with her nose still at the sheriff’s office. So walking it was. She wished that Regina had invested in more than one snow plow. It took ages for the driver, Jaq, to clear the streets. She didn’t want to think about Regina right now, though, so she dialed Mulan’s cell, wishing her deputy had been there to help bear the brunt of Blue’s early morning anger.  


Granny’s Diner looked even cuter in the snow, with the patio sparkling like fairy dust. Emma’s eyes fell to the spot where she had kissed Killian the night before, and she felt the familiar churning in her gut when she thought of anything that happened that night. She pushed it down, out of her mind and, ignoring the closed sign hanging on the door, entered the diner. She could hear arguing coming from upstairs and hurried up to the second floor, taking the stairs two at a time. At the top she could see Granny yelling with frustration through the open door of one of their rental rooms.  


“Ruby, stop it! Stop this at once! Why won’t you even look at me?”  


Emma ran forward, forgetting Granny’s earlier comment and fully expecting to see Ruby in wolf form. What she was not expecting when she reached Granny’s and at last saw into the room was to see Belle lying back on the bed with Ruby on top of her, kissing her. Emma froze, already feeling a blush spread across her cheeks. She looked over at Granny, who just sighed and rested her head against the doorframe, tired of shouting.  


“Ruby? Belle? You okay?” Emma asked, unsure what the proper protocol was for a sheriff in this particular situation.  
“Wr fn,” mumbled Ruby, not taking her lips off of Belle’s. Meanwhile Belle lifted her hands to run them softly down Ruby’s sides, eliciting a rather salacious moan from her.  


“Um, maybe we should talk downstairs,” said Emma, shutting the door of Room 12 and cutting off the view of the lovers from her and Granny, “Give them a little privacy.”  


Granny followed her down to the diner, where Emma guided the shell-shocked woman into one of the booths. Emma went to make her some coffee, her therapy solution for everything she supposed.  


“We had a rule, you know,” said Granny, sounding a bit hoarse. “I always knock and she always locks the door. Ever since I walked in on her and that accountant, and well, no one wants to see their granddaughter like that. She can do what she wants, of course, and always does, but Belle is an engaged woman. And she wouldn’t even look at me.”  


“Belle’s engaged?” was all Emma could think to say, as she poured the pre-ground coffee beans into the machine.  


“She came by this morning to tell Ruby about it, absolutely glowing. That was before they…” she trailed off.  
Emma brought her a steaming cup of coffee, which she had unconsciously topped with foam and cinnamon, and set it down in front of her, before taking the opposite seat of the booth.  


“It is a bit odd and I’m sorry you had to see your granddaughter like that, but maybe Ruby and Belle are just going through some things. What exactly happened that made you call me?”  


The coffee seemed to have steadied Granny, so that her voice sounded stronger when she spoke.  


“Well, I decided to open the diner today. I didn’t expect a lot of customers, mind, but I thought if anyone made it through this blizzard, they might as well have a cup of hot chocolate and a warm meal for it. As I said, Belle did make it in, dying to tell Ruby about the proposal. I went back into the kitchen to make them some pancakes, and, you know, give them some private time to chat. I heard the bell ring and someone spoke, but I figured Ruby could handle it, just another customer. Then I heard a shriek that sounded like Belle and another one from Ruby. I ran back here, and they were both clutching their eyes as if they stung, but there was no one else here. I went out the door, hoping I could catch whoever had done it, but there was nothing. The only footprints were Belle’s coming here. When I got back inside, the two of them were already kissing on the table like there would be no tomorrow. That’s when I closed up and called you.”  


Emma sat still for a moment, frowning and trying to picture in it her head. The first part sounded like they had been pepper sprayed, but rarely in her experience did people with burning eyes feel much in the mood for love.  


“I just don’t want Ruby to get hurt. Belle’s been doe-eyed for that imp the whole time and I don’t think she would just switch to Ruby all of a sudden,” said Granny. “And besides, _those_ kind of relationships never work out.”  


“Those kind? You mean lesbian relationships?” asked Emma, incredulous.  
Granny nodded.  


“There are plenty of stable lesbian couples. Just look at...” Emma tried to think of any in Storybrooke, only then realizing its surprising lack of gay couples of any sort. “Ellen and Portia,” she said finally.  


“Who are they?” asked Granny. “Anyway, I meant back in the old world. In the village where I grew up there was a boy who liked other boys. He didn’t have much luck in our little town, but he began to travel and eventually found another lad like him. They were happy, I think, for about three months, until they were both arrested. The other one died in prison, but boy from my village got out eventually and returned. He married a girl after that and had five kids.”  


“What? Being gay was illegal in the Enchanted Forest?”  


“Not exactly,” said Granny, “But people like that tended to disappear, or get sentenced for other crimes, or fall suddenly in love with someone else, someone of the other gender. The fairies said such things were unnatural, not true love, and so couldn’t be sustained.”  


“The fairies,” said Emma, only able to parrot what Granny had said. _How fitting that they became nuns_ , she thought, a little too bitter. One of her foster families had been deeply religious and had sent her back when she refused to let them baptize her. “Well, this is Maine and same sex marriage is legal here,” she said sharply. “I’m going to go try and talk to Ruby again. Can you wait here?” said Emma, patting Granny on the arm.  


Emma knocked first on the door of Room 12, remembering Granny’s rule, and then began to slowly open the door. She was relieved to find them both dressed. Well, sort of. They weren’t wearing shirts any more and Belle’s skirt and tights had been discarded onto the floor, but they weren’t yet completely naked.  


“Ruby, Belle, I really need to talk to you,” Emma said, entering the room.  
They had changed position, with Belle now on top, kissing along Ruby’s jawline. With a sigh, Emma grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off of Ruby, who growled at the loss of contact. Emma set Belle down on one side of the bed, pulled Ruby up on the other and sat between them.  


“Can you tell me what happened this morning?” she asked.  
Ruby reached across her to grab Belle’s hand. “We fell in love,” she said in an odd, dreamy voice. Belle beamed back at her.  
“Did someone else come into the diner?”  


“I think so,” said Belle, not breaking eye contact with Ruby.  


“Male or female?”  


“Yes, one of those,” said Belle.  


“Any guesses which?” asked Emma, but Belle just shrugged. “Ok, what about hair color, skin color, height, build? Anything? Did you see their face?”  


“I only saw your face,” said Ruby, reaching out to stroke Belle’s cheek. “The most beautiful face, my Belle.”  


Emma couldn’t help but roll her eyes. This was getting her no where. Granny’s earlier statement was still nagging at her, so she decided to try a different tactic.  


“Granny said that queer relationships weren’t really accepted in the Enchanted Forest,” Emma said.  


“The course of true love never did run smooth,” said Ruby.  


That sounded familiar to Emma, though she couldn’t remember where she had heard it. She shook her head, trying to clear her brain of all the strangeness of the morning. But because trying to interview Belle and Ruby was a bit like trying to fit a rhino through a cat door, Emma decided to call Mulan again. She stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind her and instantly heard Ruby and Belle resume their passion with renewed vigor. She moved out of earshot before getting out her phone. She had a missed call from her parents, so called them back first.  


“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” she said when Snow answered the phone.  


“Hi, Emma,” said Snow in her usual cheery voice. “David and Henry just went out sledding. I know you’re working today, but if you aren’t too busy maybe you could join them for a few slides. In fact, I could ask Ruby to look after Neal - baby Neal, I mean, not your - anyway, and then I could come, too.”  


Emma glanced back at the closed door of Room 12. “I don’t think Ruby will be able to help.”  


“Oh, why not?”  


“She just seems really busy at the diner.” Well, it wasn’t a lie. “I just caught a new case, a robbery at the convent. The Blue Fairy had a bit of a breakdown about it. But I’ll see you tonight for dinner.”  


“Well, it sounds like you have your hands full,” said Snow.  


She had no idea.  


The note from Tink’s pillow was proving to be correct once again. Ruby and Belle were falling on each other like lovesick teenagers. Each heart pierced by Cupid’s bow indeed.  


Emma went back to Room 12 and knocked once again. She waited, listened to the scrambling behind the door before Ruby called out that she could come in. Belle was now wearing one of Ruby’s plaid shirts, unbuttoned but held closed like robe, and Ruby had the bedsheet wrapped around herself. Both were looking flushed and irritated by the interruption. Among other things.  


“Just one more question,” said Emma. “Do you remember a flower of any sort?”  


Belle and Ruby looked confused for a moment, until comprehension dawned simultaneously on their faces.  


“There was, wasn’t there?” said Belle. “A beautiful flower.”  


“And really sweet smelling,” said Ruby.  


“What did it look like?”  


“It was purple. But not just any purple. The loveliest, richest purple you’ve ever seen,” said Belle  


“And it had nectar spurting out of the top like a fountain. I think I got some in my eye, actually.”  


“Me, too,” said Belle.  


It seemed Emma had found her first trace of the love-in-idleness.


	3. The Town Painted Rainbow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "She had the swagger of a girl. She blushed like a boy. She had a girl’s toughness. She has a boy’s gentleness. She was as meaty as a girl. She was as graceful as a boy. She was as brave and handsome and rough as a girl. She was as pretty and delicate and dainty as a boy. She turned boys’ heads like a girl. She turned girls’ heads like a boy. She made love like a boy. She made love like a girl. She was so boyish it was girlish, so girlish it was boyish, she made me want to rove the world writing our names on every tree. I had simply never found someone so right. Sometimes this shocked me so much that I was unable to speak."  
> Ali Smith, _Girl Meets Boy: The Myth of Iphis_

Regina was rudely awoken by a loud banging on her front door. She jerked upright, confused for a moment as to where she was and why she could hear the knocking so well. A sharp pain lanced through her brain and she had to close her eyes for a second until it was reduced to a mere dull throbbing behind her eyes. Only then was she able to look around and register that she had fallen asleep on her living room couch. She tried swallowing, but there didn’t seem to be any moisture in her mouth and her throat felt like the cracked surface of a desert. The banging was repeated with more urgency, causing Regina to wince. Strewn about the coffee table in front of her was an empty bottle of tequila lying next to a shot glass, some lime slices, a knife, and a half melted tub of ice cream. She had obviously not been very careful cutting the limes, though, as there were some deep scratches in the mahogany. With a groan, Regina pushed herself to her feet, though she was about as steady as a janga tower midway through the game.

  
“Regina!” This time the knocking was accompanied by the voice of Emma calling for her.

  
Perfect. This was just how Regina had planned to spend her morning - or afternoon, as it was: hungover, still in the clothes from the previous night, and with the savior about to bang her door down. She stumbled to the entryway, avoiding the mirror as she went. She knew she looked terrible and didn’t need further proof. She opened the door, but then immediately headed for the kitchen for water without a word of greeting to Emma, who seemed momentarily taken aback by her behavior. Emma soon recovered herself and followed Regina, finding her bent over the sink and drinking directly from the tap. Regina was certain that Emma had never seen her in such an undignified position, but was too tired and sick to care.

  
“Rough night, then,” said Emma, more of a statement than a question.

  
“You know it was,” Regina answered between gulps. She looked up at Emma, who at least had the decency to look mildly ashamed.

  
“I’m sor-”

  
“I know,” snapped Regina. “I know you’re sorry and you didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but what you did was reckless. Who knows what could have happened, what could have come through the time portal.”

  
“Are you going to be okay?” Emma moved from the kitchen doorway to stand by Regina at the sink, taking a glass from the shelf and handing it to her on the way.

  
“Yes,” said Regina, surprising herself that it was true.

  
“Were you...” began Emma, but then she stopped herself.

  
“What?”

  
“Were you in love with him?” Emma asked.

  
Regina had to think about that for a few seconds. She filled the glass with water and downed it before she answered.

  
“I liked him. A lot. And I loved the way he made me feel loved and cared for. I think I could have loved him in time. But no, I wasn’t in love with him.”

  
Emma nodded, though her expression was indiscernible. Regina wished she shared Emma's talent for lie detecting, or at least that she was as good as her at reading emotions. After an awkward silence Emma said, “The convent was robbed last night...by someone with magic.

  
Regina closed her eyes, second glass of water raised halfway to her lips.

  
“Tell me we aren’t going to do this again,” said Regina, setting down the glass. Her posture went rigid, already going into defensive mode. “Where I’m the go-to suspect whenever a crime that is slightly related to magic is committed.”

  
“Actually, I was thinking we do the other thing. Where you and I hunt down the culprit together. I could really use your help with this one.”

  
“Well, I suppose I have nothing better to do today.”

  
“Just to be clear, you didn’t do it, right?”

  
“I wasn’t really in a state to be robbing anyone last night.” She seemed to have recovered enough from her hangover to have her snark fully functional once again.

  
Emma waited downstairs as Regina showered, changed, and brushed her teeth, before they set off to have a look at the scene of the crime. Regina grumbled all the way downtown about the snow making everything too bright, even with the high dollar sunglasses she wore. With them and her heavy coat, she looked a bit like Mrs. Claus having a day at the beach, but was too blinded without them to take them off. In between complaints, Emma filled her in on the details of the case. Regina, however, didn’t know a love-in-idleness flower from a pansy, which frustrated her to no end.

  
“Blue said it could alter behavior, but I think it does so in a very specific way,” said Emma, taking out a folded note and showing it to Regina, who frowned as she read it.

  
“Each heart pierced by Cupid’s bow,” said Regina, returning to the poem. “It sounds like something out of a Hallmark Valentine’s Day Card.” Walking was becoming easier as they approached the main street, one of the few that had been fully plowed clear. 

  
“Right after Blue and Tink left my office, I got a call from Granny, saying there was something up with Ruby and Belle. She had gone back into the kitchen and when she came out, she said Ruby and Belle were both hunched over rubbing their eyes, no sign of anyone else there. They started kissing each other, and that’s how they were when I went over there. I could hardly pull them apart.”

  
“They have been good friends for awhile. And I can’t blame Belle for wanting someone other than that horrible imp.”

  
“But in front of Ruby’s grandmother?”

  
“I always said that wolf was feral.”

  
“Regina.”

  
“Right, sorry,” she muttered, not even trying to hide the fact that she wasn’t at all sorry. “It seems their hearts were pierced by Cupid’s bow.”

  
“They said that someone had come into the diner, but couldn’t remember who. They did remember a flower, though, so the love-in-idleness must cause people to fall in love”

  
“Or lust, and speaking of,” Regina trailed off, eyes focused on Archie’s office across the street from the diner. She watched him come out the front door, hand in hand with…

  
“Whale?” said Emma, a little too loud. The two men looked up and, catching sight of Regina and Emma, waved cheerily before walking in the opposite direction down the street.

  
As they stood there, watching the town’s most notorious womanizer wrap his arm around the shoulders of Jiminy No-Longer-A-Cricket, another couple turned onto the block. Regina recognized one of them as a bartender at the Rabbit Hole. She dark skin and an easy smile that lit up her face. What was her name? Tara? Tanya? _Tiana_ , thought Regina as it finally clicked. She didn’t know the other woman, though, the one with whom Tiana had linked arms. She had wild red hair that tumbled down her back like a waterfall. Her face was heart-shaped and stubborn, but illuminated with a grin to match Tiana’s. They nodded amiably to Regina and Emma as they passed them and turned into Granny’s Diner, now reopened. As the diner door swung open, they were hit with scent of coffee and fried food, along with the humming chatter of those inside.

  
“Maybe we should stop for a hot chocolate,” said Emma, as curiosity led the two of them into the restaurant.

  
Inside, it was apparent that Granny’s expectations of few customers had been proven wrong. The place was buzzing with people, with every booth and table filled, and only a few seats open at the counter. Granny bustled about, looking flushed and hurried, but Ruby had unattached herself from Belle long enough to serve warm mugs and plates of pancakes to people, pausing to smooch Belle every so often. It took a moment to take in all the other people sitting in front of them, or to be precise, all the couples. It did in fact look like a Valentine’s Day dinner the way everyone was cuddled up to each other, sitting on the same side of the booth or reaching across their tables to hold hands. Regina recognized Grumpy sitting with his arm around Nova. Across from them were Happy and Bashful, who were not at all bashful about displaying their affection publicly. King George was currently stroking the beard of Gepetto. Cinderella was leaning her head lovingly on the shoulder of Princess Abigail, while in the next table Prince Thomas was staring deeply into the eyes of Frederick.

  
“Well, our thief certainly has been busy,” said Regina. They took seats at the counter with Belle on one side, Tiana and her redheaded paramour on the other. Regina kept the sunglasses on to keep out the glare of the fluorescent lights, but stripped off her long coat and gloves.

  
“What can I get for you?” asked Ruby, flashing her teeth in a wide smile.

  
_And what big teeth you have_ , thought Regina. _All the better to eat out my girlfriend with!_ She smirked, wondering if she was still a little drunk from the night before. She wasn't sure if you could be drunk and hungover at the same time.

  
“I’ll have a hot chocolate,” said Emma, snapping her out of her daydream.

  
“With cinnamon?” asked Ruby.

  
“You know me so well. What do you want Regina?”

  
“Pancakes, eggs, and bacon. I’m going to go throw up first, though,” she said, handing back the menu.

  
Emma looked at her like she had been body snatched, but all she said was, “Need me to hold your hair back?”

  
“I’m good,” called Regina, already moving toward the restroom.

  
Their food had arrived by the time she returned. Emma was staring off into space with a piece of Regina’s bacon held absentmindedly in her fingers, looking more concerned than she had before.

  
“Can I ask you something?” Emma asked, not even bothering to explain the stolen bacon.

  
“I suppose,” said Regina.

  
“Earlier, when I was talking to Granny, she said that gay couples didn’t do well in the Enchanted Forest.”

  
“Is that a question?” said Regina, though there was a harsher edge to her voice than had been absent in her previous sarcastic remarks.

  
“Why do you think that was?”

  
Regina face darkened. “I don’t know. Bad things just...happened to them.”

  
“But why? Granny said it wasn’t illegal.”

  
“Well, marriage was, but no, it wasn’t illegal.”

  
“Just frowned upon by the fairies,” said Emma. When Regina didn’t respond she continued, “Who had a flower that could cause people to fall in love.”

  
Regina’s frown increased and her hand tightened around her fork.

  
“Maybe the thief is someone who wants revenge on the fairies by turning everyone gay, someone who was made to love a person of the opposite gender,” Emma continued.

“It might not just have been the flower that was the target, but specifically Blue and the fairies,” said Regina. “That would explain why the only straight couple here is Nova and the dwarf that Blue didn’t want her to love.”

  
“It would explain the poster,” said Emma.

  
“What poster?” said Regina, and then nearly snorted with laughter when Emma told her about the Willy Wonka message. Emma looked even more astonished than when Regina had been slurping out of the sink, her eyebrows nearly disappearing into her hairline, as if she never expected Regina to laugh at so crude a joke. Regina had never been overly fond of the fairies, though, other than a soft spot for Tinker Bell.

  
“But why did the thief leave the note with Tinker Bell specifically? I think we should go talk to her. Come on,” said Emma, getting up.

  
“I still have two pancakes left,” said Regina, practically pouting, but Emma pulled her up by the arm and out of the diner, leaving money on the counter for Ruby.

  
The convent sat on the top of a hill overlooking the town. A fitting home, Regina thought, allowing the fairy nuns to do what they did best and look down on everyone. She was less than thrilled about the climb, however. Though the food and water had helped lesson her headache, she still felt nauseated and tired. She had to stop twice, once thinking she would throw up again and once to catch her breath, while Emma waited with as much patience as she could manage.

  
“How much did you drink last night?” Emma asked, giving her a rough pat on the back.

  
“I finished off a bottle of tequila,” said Regina.

  
“A whole bottle?”

  
“No. There were about three shots taken out of it before I started.”

  
Emma stopped walking.

  
“How are you not dead?” she exclaimed, throwing up her arms. Regina just shrugged.

  
The convent appeared to have been hit particularly hard by the snowstorm. A layer of ice coated the trees and bushes and several branches lay strewn across the lawn in front of the chapel. The snow came up to their waists, so that it took them nearly ten minutes to push their way from the road and up the slippery steps to the front porch. They could see the splintered hole in the door where the rude poster had been nailed in, just below the heavy brass knocker, which Emma rapped several times. A fairy nun, Regina thought it was the Orange Fairy, answered the door and beckoned them in from the cold. She led them into the small sitting room, where the Blue Fairy, was once again her composed self, dressed in a pleated gray skirt and black sweater, buttoned correctly. The other fairies were seated around her, offering her hushed words of comfort and patting her hand. Tink sat in a winged armchair on the far side of the room, though she looked more in need of comfort than one to do the comforting.

  
“What is she doing here?” Blue said, catching sight of Regina and standing quickly from the sofa.

  
“Believe me, she isn’t the thief,” said Emma as they strode into the room. “She’s helping me to solve the case.”

  
“And have there been any developments?” asked Blue, hands on her hips.

  
“There...” Emma hesitated, thinking she would rather have Blue unaware of what was happening, but then she figured that Blue would find out eventually. “There has been some unusual behavior. Nothing extraordinary. Actually we were hoping Tinker Bell could help us with some stuff.”

  
“Yes, sheriff. Whatever you need,” said Blue, sitting back down and allowing the Violet Fairy to take her hand.

  
Tink looked less than thrilled at the prospect of going with them, which surprised Regina. Usually Tink was bubbly and cheerful, not to mention one of the few people who seemed to genuinely like her. “Let’s go outside,” said Tink, with a curt nod of her head.

  
“Alright, spill,” said Emma, as soon as they were well out of earshot, back on the road. By then, both Emma and Regina had snow soaking through their boots and pants, but Tinker Bell had shrunk herself to fairy size and was perfectly dry, flying around their heads. Regina ran a hand over her wet clothes, and the water evaporated off of them in a puff of steam. Seeing Emma’s envious face, she merely smirked and led the way down the hill.

  
“I may know who the thief is, except it isn’t possible for him to be here. Then again, I guess a lot of impossible things have been happening lately,” she said, glancing at Emma, who shifted uncomfortably. Regina was reminded of her own angry words the night before, saying that Emma had better hope nothing else came through the portal.

  
“Who?” asked Emma.

  
“The poem just reminded me of this guy I used to know. Well, not a guy. He was a nature spirit. He was a real trickster, but not evil, at least he wasn’t back then. His name was Robin Goodfellow, but most people called him Puck.”

  
Regina could practically see the cogs click into place in Emma’s brain.

  
“The course of true love never did run smooth,” she said.

  
“Oh, not you, too,” Regina grumbled.

  
“No, it’s what Ruby said to me earlier. I knew I’d heard it before, and I just figured out where. When I was fifteen my foster family took me to see _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ put on by the high school. That was a quote from it and Puck was this servant to the fairy king. And there was flower that could make you fall in love. Haven’t you ever seen it?” She looked unbelievable proud of herself.

  
“Sad to say the Storybrooke Amateur Theater does not appeal to me. I’ve heard of it, though,” said Regina.

  
“They wrote a play about Robin?” asked Tink.

  
“Yeah, by William Shakespeare,” said Emma. Then at Tink’s blank look Emma added, “He’s this really famous dead writer guy.”

  
“As fascinating as the literature lesson is, it doesn’t bring us any closer to finding him, does it?” said Regina.

  
“Well, there was no fairy king, and I don’t think Robin was the servant to anyone. But he was the one that got love-in-idleness for the Blue Fairy,” said Tink.

  
“Why would he do that?” asked Regina, “if he truly was such a free spirit.”

  
“Because I asked him to.”

  
“Uh huh,” said Emma. “And then what happened?”

  
“He was angry that I had given it to the Blue Fairy, and kept it instead of returning to him. He left the kingdom. The next I heard of him was that he had gotten on the bad side of the Dark One, back when Zoso was the Dark One, and had been killed or locked up or something. There were a lot of rumors flying around.”

  
“Wait, wait, wait,” said Emma. She stopped walking and turned to face Regina and the fluttering Tinker Bell. “Are you telling me that I am currently tracking a thief who was just stealing back something that was stolen from him in the first place.”

  
“Only if Robin really is the thief,” said Tink.

  
Emma’s head fell back as she released a frustrated sigh.

  
“Either way, we should still find hi-” Regina was cut off, however, as something down the street behind Emma caught her eye. Her eyes opened wide in surprise, which Emma noticed and turned to look, but was stopped when Regina grabbed her arm, saying, “Maybe you shouldn’t.”

  
“What are you talking about?” said Emma. She pulled her arm from Regina’s and looked behind her. Regina could see her whole frame go rigid as she caught sight of Killian Jones, who was standing just down the street, locked in a passionate embrace with Jefferson. Emma’s faced changed so quickly from surprise to anger that Regina stumbled back, not wanting to be caught in the crossfires. Emma looked ready to smack the shit out of Killian, or quite possibly to try out dark magic for the first time and reduce the both of them into ash and bone. Before she could advance on them, however, Regina managed to recover herself and wrapped her arms around Emma, pulling her back.

  
“It’s just the flower. We’ll get it figured out,” Regina said softly. After everything Emma had put her through, Regina would have expected to feel satisfied at Emma’s pain, as if having Emma see Hook with someone else was some sort of cosmic karma. She didn’t feel that way, though. Seeing Emma’s fury reminded her too much of herself, and she felt the strangest desire to stroke Emma’s hair. Tink got there first, fluttering down to land on Emma’s shoulder and patting her head with a tiny hand.

  
“We can make an antidote, you know,” said Tink. “We just need to get the flower back.”

 

“Maybe we should call it a day,” said Emma. She straightened up after having collapsed back against Regina.

  
“Call it day!” cried a voice to the side of them. “But we’re just getting started.”

  
There, sitting cross legged on top of the snow was perhaps the most beautiful person Regina had ever seen. She couldn’t tell if they were a man or a woman, perhaps neither, but they had smooth skin the color of chestnut, sharp cheekbones, and big, dark eyes. Their black hair was cropped close and they wore only a baggy black tank top and skinny jeans, despite the cold. Their mouth was quirked up into a half smile. One of their hands held a purple flower that looked like it belonged in the jungles of Hawaii and not Maine during a snowstorm. The other hand was clutched tightly, though around what, Regina couldn’t tell. She found out soon enough, however, because before she could even blink, the person was right next to them blowing a fine black powder into the face of Tinkerbell, who fell off Emma’s shoulder and was caught delicately in the now empty hand. Then they knocked off Regina’s sunglasses and thrust the flower into her face and the world was blocked out behind the pain of her burning eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story, Robin Goodfellow is non-binary (doesn't identify as a man or a woman). Tinker Bell and some other characters do misgender them at first, but they will learn proper pronouns and get more respectful as the story progresses.


	4. An Enchanted Lovestruck Regina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Once again love drives me on, that loosener of limbs, bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done.”  
> “Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables.”  
> "For if now she flees, quickly she shall follow  
> And if she spurns gifts, soon shall she offer them  
> Yea, if she knows not love, soon shall she feel it  
> Even reluctant."  
> Sappho, "Fragments on Love and Desire" and "Hymn to Aphrodite"

“Regina! Regina!” Emma shouted, trying to keep her from crashing to the ground. Regina rubbed at her eyes furiously and Emma was about to get a handful of snow to wash them out when Regina stood up straight and opened her eyes. She blinked a few times, but it seemed as though the pain was gone.

“Emma?” she said, voice shaking.

“Are you okay?” asked Emma, still holding Regina’s shoulders.

“You are so beautiful,” answered Regina, reaching a hand up to touch Emma’s cheek.

Emma stepped back in surprise. She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but the logical part of her brain seemed to have been shut off when Regina was hurt. Now that it had returned she looked around to find Puck standing calmly just a few steps away, still holding the unconscious Tinker Bell.

“The saviors of Storybrooke. I’m honored,” said Puck, giving them a deep bow. “I’m also Robin Goodfellow.”

“Are you going to do that to me?” Emma asked, pointing up to flower. As she dropped her hand Regina grabbed it and laced her fingers through it, but she, too, seemed focused on Puck for the time being.

“It wouldn’t work,” said Puck simply. “For the same reason why you can’t have your heart ripped out.”

“And that reason is?”

“The king's a beggar, now the play is done. All is well ended, if this suit be won, that you express content, which we will pay, with strife to please you, day exceeding day. Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts. Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts.” They chanted it, more like a rap than the recitations of ye olde englishe that Emma was used to hearing.

“What does that even mean?” asked Emma.

“No idea. Tell you what, though. I’ll take Tink home for you. It seems you’ve got your hands full.”

“You think I’m just going to let you take-” but Puck had disappeared before she could finish.

“Are you okay?” asked Regina, moving around to face Emma and stroke her hair out of her face. Emma took hold of her wrists to stop her movements.

“Regina, did you hear any of that? It’s just a spell that you’re under, and I’m not under the same spell.”

“The course of true love never did run smooth,” Regina replied. She broke from Emma’s grasp and moved her hands to Emma’s waist to pull her close. “You smell fantastic,” she said.

Emma, trying to be gentle, grabbed Regina’s shoulders and held her at arms length. Regina took Emma’s hand again. Sighing, Emma let her and with a slight pull on Regina’s hand they continued down the street, passing Hook and Jefferson, who seemed as unaware of Emma and Regina as they were of the cold.

Emma’s pants were now so wet from the snow that icy water was beginning to run down into her boots until her socks grew drenched and her feet froze. She had insisted on silence while they walked, needing time to process, but now she turned to Regina and said, “Regina, do you think you could just poof us to my apartment?”

“Of course, dear,” she said, though this time her ‘dear’ did not sound patronizing or threatening, but truly loving. A cloud of purple smoke enveloped them and when it cleared they were standing in the apartment Emma shared with her parents. It had been crowded before, but especially was so now that baby Neal was around. Henry didn’t seem to mind sharing a room with Neal on the rotating weeks that he spent with Emma and the Charmings, though Emma could tell he missed having his own room, as he did in Regina’s house. Currently, though, the apartment was empty and almost eerily quiet without the usual sounds of crying baby, singing, or video games that frequented the place.

“Mom?” called Emma. “Henry?” She was relieved when she heard no reply. She needed to talk to Snow about this...development, but wanted to break it to Henry more gently. She didn’t want to get his hopes up that it could work out between her and Regina. Although, she had to admit that it would make custody of him simpler.

“I guess we’re alone, then,” said Regina softly, taking a strand of Emma’s hair between her fingers.

“I-I better call Snow, and you know, make sure she’s alright in the snow storm.”

“I’m sure Snow does fine in snow,” Regina smirked. So love hadn’t made her lose her sarcasm. Good to know.

“Still, I’ll just…” and Emma fled behind the kitchen counter, ignoring the cell phone in her pocket to use the old corded wall phone there.

“Hi, Emma, how’s the case?” asked Mary Margaret.

“It’s going,” said Emma vaguely.

“That doesn’t sound good. Are you sure you can’t take a break? I took Neal - baby Neal, of course - out sledding with David and Henry. He loves it! He’s like a little snow puppy.”

“That’s great, Mom. Something sort of happened, and it’s just - do you think you could come home?”

“What’s wrong, Emma?” said Snow, instantly serious.

“I just need your help. Oh, and Mom, maybe don’t bring Henry home. At least not right away.”

As soon as she hung up the phone, Regina stood and walked over to Emma, a slight sway in her hips.

“I’ve always admired you, Emma. You never let the bad things break you. You’re so strong, you know,” Regina grabbed Emma’s arms, running her thumbs up the corded muscles there. “But not as irritatingly sunshine-and-butterflies optimistic as your mother. You’re just perfect.” Regina leaned forward and kissed Emma’s cheek as Emma stumbled backward from her.

“You know what I would kill for, Regina,” Emma sputtered out.

“What?” asked Regina, cocking her head to the side.

“Well, I left my coffee at the station, so do you think you could get me another cup? I would be so grateful,” she said taking Regina’s hands in her own and giving them a squeeze, feeling horrible for doing so, as if she were leading Regina on or something. Enchanted, love struck Regina, and oh god Emma wished she could make that coffee Irish.

“Of course,” said Regina, positively beaming. Emma couldn’t remember the last time Regina had actually done something she’d asked.

“Coffee pot is on the counter,” she said before running to the living room and plopping herself down on the couch.

Regina returned with a steaming cup of black coffee, which she placed in front of Emma, before sitting promptly in her lap and planting another kiss on Emma’s cheek. Emma sighed and took the coffee, hoping that by drinking it she would keep Regina from kissing her anywhere else. Regina grabbed Emma’s free arm and wrapped it around her waist, and then pressed her face into the crook of Emma’s neck, seemingly content to just sit there and be held.

When Emma heard Snow unlocking the door, she leapt to her feet so fast she almost knocked Regina to the ground, but managed to catch her before she fell. That was how her mother, baby Neal in hand, found them, arms wrapped around each other with coffee spilled all over the carpet.

“Emma?” was all Snow could get out.

“As I said, something has happened,” Emma said dryly, as Regina smiled brightly at Snow.

“W-wh,” Snow began, blinking rapidly. “Are you two?” She paused.

“What?” said Emma, releasing Regina.

“Are you two dating?”

Emma was very aware of the way Regina was looking at her. It was both hopeful and expectant. Last night aside, Emma and Regina had come a long way in their relationship, from trying to kill each other to the point where Emma was actually enjoying Regina’s company. She admired Regina’s effort to put her dark past behind her and embrace her good side. She was brave, dedicated to their son, and protective, but Emma would have never described Regina as sweet. Her wit was too caustic for that, and her defensive walls too impenetrable. Under the effects of the flower, however, Regina was acting sweet, albeit a little needy. Emma just couldn’t bring herself to break Regina’s enchanted heart. Emma left the question unanswered for too long, though, so Snow spoke again.

“Because that’s fine if you are, you know. I mean, it’ll take some getting used to, that’s for sure, but as long as you’re both happy. And I’m sure Henry - does Henry know?” Snow said, absolutely rambling.

“Mom, do you think we could talk upstairs?” asked Emma. “Just the two of us.”

“Sure,” said Snow, her voice coming out a bit higher than usual.

Regina nodded, as well, and took Neal from the stunned Snow White, before sitting gracefully on the couch to wait for them. Emma led her mother up to her room and sat on the narrow bed within, watching Snow pace. Emma was reminded of all the conversations they had had there before she’d broken the curse - back when Snow was her friend, Mary Margaret, and Regina was the bitchy mother of her birth son. Things had been so much simpler then.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Snow was off and rambling again.

“It’s just a lot to take in. No! I don’t mean - not because you’re both women. Because that’s fine, you know that. It’s just because she was my stepmother and you’re my daughter. But, of course, she didn’t want to marry my dad in the first place. Her mother wanted to marry him. We were almost sisters really.”

“Mom,” said Emma, but Snow didn’t seem to hear her.

“And I thought you were dating Hook. I suppose that’s just as... Well, he was in love with Neal’s mother. What I’m trying to say is that if you love Regina, I’m happy for you.”

“Sure, mom, except,” Emma began, but Snow interrupted.

“Just one thing, Emma.”

“Yeah?” she said, not sure she wanted to hear what was coming.

“You get to be the one to tell your father.”

Emma burst out laughing at that, earning a look from Snow that clearly said _my daughter’s gone mad_.

“Mom, we aren’t dating,” she said.

“You aren’t?”

“Regina’s been enchanted. Actually, a lot of the town has.”

Snow sat on the bed next to Emma, finally calm enough for Emma to explain the details of the case, the effects of the love-in-idleness, and her doubts that she should even be working the case in the first place. She needed to recover the flower for sure, but she was less certain that she should return it to the Blue Fairy. The thought of anyone having that kind of power made her uneasy.

“Robin Goodfellow?” said Snow once Emma had finished. She sounded as if she were trying out the words for the first time.

“You haven’t heard of him?”

“Well, not in the Enchanted Forest. Mary Margaret had memories of reading _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ in high school, though. What was he like?”

“He was beautiful and kind of goofy, but there was something else. He also seemed really sad.”

“Are you going to go out looking for him?” asked Snow.

“Not today. I’m spent,” said Emma, flopping back on the bed. Snow patted her knee, looking relieved.

“The storm is supposed to get worse tonight. I hope David and Henry get home soon.”

“Henry,” said Emma, snapping upright. “How are we going to explain this to Henry?”

“What do you mean? Just tell him what you told me.”

“I just don’t want to get his hopes up.”

“Henry has two mothers who love him and that will never change. I think he can handle it. He’s nearly thirteen,” said Snow.

 

 

Henry and David arrived back at the apartment looking flushed, wet, and tired, but ultimately happy. Henry ran to give Emma and soggy hug, telling her about the snowball fight they had had with some of his classmates they had run into. Snow had managed to talk Regina into going with her to Storybrooke’s only grocery store to stock up on ice storm supplies, leaving the apartment empty for Emma to explain the situation to the David and Henry, while Neal burbled happily in his playpen behind them. Henry took it well. He seemed interested in the case and in the mysterious Robin Goodfellow, but Emma was relieved to see that he looked neither disappointed nor hopeful. David, on the other hand, looked a bit like someone had slapped him in the face with a fish.

After Regina and Snow got back, arms full of paper grocery bags, the gale began to pick up, throwing chunks of snow and ice against the windows like battering rams. The wind whistled, high and shrill, as it whipped around the edges of the building, and they could hear the trees groaning from the onslaught. Snow looked nervously out the window at the building storm.

“I think Regina should stay here tonight,” she said, throwing one last uneasy glance through the window pane, before returning to the kitchen to help start dinner.

“What?” said David, a little too sharply, but Regina didn’t seem to notice.

“I wouldn’t want to be a burden, dear,” she said with a smile. “I can just teleport myself home.”

“But you told me poofing too often could be dangerous, and you’ve already done it once today,” said Emma from the couch where she had started up a game of Mario Kart with Henry.

“Besides maybe we should keep an eye you, because of the, um,” Snow trailed off. As was the case with the other enchanted residents of Storybrooke, Regina didn’t seem at all aware that she was under any sort of spell. Any time it was mentioned, she either became temporarily deaf or said, “The course of true love never did run smooth,” with a dreamy smile on her face. As such, they decided to avoid the topic as best they could for the time being.

“You can stay in my bed,” said Emma. Then when David nearly choked on the water he was drinking, she added, “and I’ll crash on the couch.”

Henry glanced up from the video game race to eye his mothers with mild suspicion, and then flashed a grin that only his grandmother saw. Snow wondered if Operation Parent Trap was already under way in his mind.

Regina helped Snow and David make dinner, and Emma was bemused by how normal it all felt. It was just like any other dinner with the Swan-Mills-Charming family, which she had to admit was one of the oddest families she had ever heard of. It was her home now, she supposed, and she could do much worse.

“Mom, you’re driving backwards,” said Henry, raising an eyebrow up at her in a perfect imitation of Regina.

“Sorry, kid, I zoned out for a bit,” she said, wheeling the car around and finishing off the race in last place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated Chapter Three, as well, because I'd forgotten to include a quote at the beginning. So if you haven't seen it, please check out the lovely quote by Ali Smith to help introduce Robin Goodfellow.  
> Also, Emma and Snow refer to Robin G. as "he" because that's how Puck is referred to in the play. They'll learn Robin's preferred gender pronouns a bit later.

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, Rumplestiltskin and Belle just got engaged at the end of season 3b, not married. And Aurora hasn't had her baby yet.


End file.
